The First Date Jitters

Everyone dreads the first date. No matter who you are, what you have accomplished, or how much confidence you have the first date is never easy. Many women tend to put immense pressure on themselves to be someone they aren’t. We tend to conjure up an image in our minds of who we think our date wants us to be (like that super sexy Victoria’s Secret model on the cover of that catalogue sitting on your kitchen counter) rather than trying to show who we truly are. Many women ruin their first date before it even happens, letting their nerves and preconceptions get the best of them. When you are too worried about being someone else, you forget all the basics. And most importantly, you forget how to be yourself and despite what you may think the real you is much more interesting than that lingerie model.

On your next date, drop the act and give these few suggestions a whirl (I promise you won’t regret it and you’re date won’t either):

*Half the nerves come from the preparation. What to wear is probably the biggest decision of the night. You want to dress to impress but at the same time you don’t want to wear something you normally wouldn’t or something that isn’t your style. You want your date to like you for you, not because of what you have failed to cover up (leave a little something for their imagination). Also, dress for the occasion. If you know you are going on a picnic in a park, stiletto heels probably aren’t the best choice.

*Do your makeup like you would for any other night out and use only a few squirts of perfume. Too much of anything is never a good thing.

*It’s really important to be on time for your first date. You never want to be too early. It gives off that overexcited I-have-no-life-and-have-been-waiting-forever-for-this-moment type of vibe. On the other hand, you don’t want to be late. Many people have pet peeves for tardiness and you don’t want to turn off your date before you even introduce yourself.

*Turn off your cell phone. You will be able to tell all your girlfriends how the date went once you get home, I promise.

*Unfortunately, it’s not all about you. Make sure you alternate asking questions about each other. Share your passions, interests, and hobbies with him but make sure he tells you about his as well.

*My biggest caution: DON’T, under any circumstances, talk about ex-boyfriends or compare this date to other dates or guys you have dated in the past. If he brings up the ex subject, quickly change it. There will be plenty of time for that later.

*Every guy likes a girl who laughs at his jokes but don’t overdo it. He’s just as nervous as you are and a little laugh here and there will ease his nerves.

*Compliment your date. His clothes, manners, or choice of restaurant are all great options for compliments (but use these sparingly as well).

*Remember: eye contact, eye contact, eye contact.

*No guy likes a girl who excessively drinks on the first date (or at all). He asked you out to have a good time, not to drive you home and carry you to your front door. If you are with a guy who is encouraging you to excessively drink, you should probably just end the date there.

*When the final bill comes, offer to add a contribution- don’t assume that he is just going to pay for the whole thing.

*The first date should never last too long; three to four hours is a perfect length. If you see the date is running much longer than this try to politely end it. The longer the date is, the more room for error. You want to end your first date on a high note and plus, a lack of time could leave him wanting that second date.

*At the end of the date make sure to tell him you had a great time (even if you didn’t) and thank him for taking you out (especially if he paid). If you’re date didn’t go as planned that is no excuse for poor manners. It’s not his fault you two weren’t compatible.

First dates go sour all the time, so don’t feel bad if you don’t get that second date. It was nothing against you, he just wasn’t the one. If you were yourself there should be no regrets.

Now, go practice your ‘lipstick confidence’!

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